tirsdag den 11. august 2015

Welcome to university part 1

First of all I'm really sorry I haven't made any post lately but in this blog post you'll figure out why!
The last couple of weeks have been really nerve wrecking for me! I've been waiting for my acceptances letter from the university I've applied to and I had a math exam!
A month ago I applied for my dream university in Denmark, Aalborg University Esbjerg, in my home city, which is also the place where I studied math and physics before.
12 days ago I got my acceptance mail and I was super happy! But... First I had to pass my last math exam before I could be 100% accepted! I don't think I've ever been so close yet so far away from my goal before!
This also meant that the last few weeks, I've been studying math all the time! AS IN THE FREAKING WHOLE TIME!
I was so focused on studying that even if I had a break I would think about making math assignments. Even when we were celebrating my dad two weekends ago, suddenly in the middle of the night (while the party still was going on) I thought "Hey lets make some math!". It was crazy and really intense!
I couldn't, at that moment, bear the thought of not starting at university and the feeling of disappointing my entire family but also the fact that it would hurt my pride, not to be accepted.
On the day of my exam I was really nervous but I was thinking positive and felt that I mostly could my math- But still REALLY NERVOUS!!!! 
I must admit I had the best people to watch over us at the exam! They were so kind and funny and it really calmed my nerves.
After the exam I didn't really know what to feel. I was confused but happy and then confused again, because it was a difficult exam. I honestly wasn't sure if the thing I had calculated was right or wrong but I decided to let it go for the rest of the day.
The next couple of days were literately just like hell! I don't think I have ever been this depressed before in my life. I didn't feel like doing anything or spend time with people. I just wanted to stay in my bed and be depressed because I was thinking about my exam ALL the time! And the more I was thinking about it, the worse I felt, because I felt like everything was wrong.
A couple of days later, I started to see the light again and began to accept the fact that if I didn't start at my university this year I could do it next year. I could work another year and earn some money and go travelling.
But I still knew what I wanted the most and I couldn't really accept not getting into university.
One person who truly told me something that made everything more clear and positive for me was a friend I have from Singapore. He told me

"Well it's already done so don't worry okay? Just enjoy what time you have right now!"

Honestly that remark did so much for me! My friend, Ashley, just made my mood so much better and it was like I could breath again and accept everything! I truly think that no matter what happens, you should really enjoy the time you have now! It doesn't help anyone or yourself if your mood is negative! Even through it's difficult and hard!
After that amazing remark the next couple of days went by and I was more positive! I could actually smile and be around people without being depressed. But I still couldn't relax and I was constantly checking if our result were uploaded multiple times a day!
When the result still wasn't posted yesterday a week after my exam I called my University to asked why the result weren't posted yet and I was told that nobody had seen our assignments yet. At that moment I was really irritated because I've just been walking around the last week like some kind of zombie. But as always the people who works at my university are incredibly sweet and great and today I got a call from one of the people working at my university that I passed my exam. While speaking with her on the phone I tried to sound as professional and cool as possible while I mostly wanted to scream out of happiness! The moment before she told me I had passed I was so nervous. One thing is to figure out by yourself that you haven't passed and another thing is to be told by another person you haven't passed and I honestly don't know how I would have reacted if I haven't passed it! But I had and even through I was standing in the middle of our local drug store (I was out shopping with my mom and sis) I were jumping on the place and half screaming "I passed" in the middle of the store after our call ended... Not the most elegant moment in my life but what ever!
I have never felt this big wave of happiness in my entire body before as I did today! It was amazing!
For the rest of the day I've been wearing the biggest smile ever. Even when Jasmin and I were literately killed at our Body Fit lesson at the gym I was still happy!
So now I can end my blogpost with lots of happiness and call myself for an official university student!

Xx Maria
P.S. more information about my first day will come later!
I'll start the 1st. September!
You can read about Lucy's thoughts here

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